Saturday, January 30, 2010

15 Hilarious Ways to Order Pizza

Tired of being put on hold? Bored with the general, “Hi, I’d like a large pepperoni pizza” conversation? Perhaps you should try something a little different next time you call your local pizza parlor.

1. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this conversation.”

2. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

3. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, “Okay, that’ll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window.”

4. When they say, “What would you like?” say, “Huh? Oh, you mean now.”

5. Dance all around the word “pizza.” Avoid saying it at all costs. If (s)he says it, say, “Please don’t mention that word.”

6. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

7. When they say, “Will that be all?” snicker and say, “We’ll find out, won’t we?”

8. When you’re given the price, say, “Ooh, that sounds complicated. I hate math.”

9. Put them on hold.

10. Start the conversation by reciting today’s date and saying, “This may be my last entry.”

11. When they repeat your order, say, “Again, with a little more ‘oomph’ this time.”

12. Start the conversation with “My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and… action!”

13. Order two toppings, then say, “No, they’ll start fighting.”

14. Change your accent every three seconds.

15. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, “Last guy let me do it.”

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